Scoop! Journalists in Fiction

Folly, fear and mistrust

"In matters of economic science," Julian would say, "the layman knows nothing, assumes much and fears more. All the press ever does is compound that ignorance, folly and fear; deliberately it fosters mistrust of change. Therefore, Eleanor, when faced with the ladies, gentlemen and guttersnipes of the media, let it be our policy to remain silent."

Unfortunately Eleanor/ Ellen/ Apricot (it's complicated) goes on to forget this rule when talking to Freddie Howard of the Daily Mail.

"Do you have a pet name for him?" asked Freddie.

"I call him Rasputin," said Eleanor.

Bad move.

• Darcy's Utopia, by Fay Weldon

Rita's Quick-Quotes Quill

Harry Potter might well have agreed with Jims. In the HP and the Goblet of Fire he is upset by a story about him in the wizarding world's paper, the Daily Prophet.

" The article had appeared ten days ago and still Harry got a sick burning feeling of shame in his stomach every time he thought about it. Rita Skeeter (left, as played by Miranda Richardson) had reported him as saying an awful lot of things that he couldn't remember ever saying in his life...

"I suppose I get my strength from my parents, I know they would be very proud if thet could see me now... yes, sometimes at night I still cry about them, I'm not ashamed to admit it..." 

(Rita) drew out a long acid-green quill and a roll of parchment... She put the tip of the green quill into her mouth, sucked it for a moment with apparent relish, then placed it upright on the parchment, where it stood balanced, its point quivering slightly.

"Testing... my name is Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet reporter"

Harry looked down quickly at the quill. The moment Rita had spoken, the green quill had started to scribble, skidding across the parchment.

Attractive blonde Rita Skeeter, forty-three, whose savage quill has punctured many reputations -

They get everything wrong, anyway

Journalists in fiction can have a rather casual attitude to the truth. In Ruth Rendell's Adam and Eve and Pinch Me (2002), newly married Zillah is trying to help a PR campaign designed to persuade newspaper readers that her MP husband is not gay (as the features editor of a glossy magazine puts it, "You cured him, did you?").

The night before the first journalist was due, the two of them invented a past girlfriend for Jims, her name, her appearance, her age and Zillah's jealousy for her. At the interview she said this woman was now married and living in Hong Kong... When she (later) talked to the magazine she forget the former girlfriend's age and said she lived in Singapore, but Jims said it wouldn't matter, as newspapers got everything wrong anyway.