How many people would in any way enjoy spending, as I just have, £904.27 on a car repair?
Not many, I suspect.
So what possessed someone to think it was a good idea to wrap the bill in a smart folder that included a message which begins:
"We hope you found our customer service to your complete delight..."
Well, no, actually, 'complete delight' doesn't quite capture the thrill of spending 15 minutes sitting watching Countdown as I wait for an invoice that will put a bigger dent in my finances than a modest family holiday.
While I can understand why a publicist like Pete 'Screaming headlines' Wilby might choose to describe a a band as 'internationally acclaimed' rather than 'once did a gig in Belgium’ (read the post!) I think any organisation that is so heavy handed in its desire to be positive deserves ridicule.
The waffle goes on:
"We hope that you experienced excellent levels of service to warrant 5 out of 5 in all areas."
The English is as ugly as it is puzzling. The question has no context, there is nothing to suggest why I should rate service on a scale of one to five.
Grabbing for superlatives and inflating words way beyond their natural meaning doesn't help anyone, least of all those struggling to argue that there is some substance in corporate communications.